Well this is my first blog, or online diary maybe. So do I start from the beginning... Here goes...
In 2008, 2 days after my 25th Birthday, I went for my first ever smear test. It was easy, no problems but this was at the time Jade Goody was unfortunately dying from Cervical Cancer and results were taking 6 weeks to come through. No problem though, I was only 25, I could wait. The Saturday (always a bloody Saturday when no doctors are open) before the 6 weeks were up I get the dreaded brown letter stamped NHS on it! Your smear was abnormal, please make an appointment to see the consultant by telephoning this number.
So I telephoned the number. Friends had said oh that happened to me, they just want to see you and redo the smear, prob in 3-6 months, don't worry. "We need to see you within 7 days, can you make this date?" Erm..ok then.
My appointment was scheduled for the following Monday. Just an appointment with the consultant, for a chat, maybe another smear. Off I go with my book for the waiting area. Finally get in to see the consultant..."have you come on your own" of course I'd gone on my own, I don't usually take people to doctors appointments. "well we need to operate on you today and you should've brought someone with you". Yes, I knew this because I have a Crystal Ball! Oh wait, no it's not working! WHAT?
It turns out they thought I had Cervical Cancer. My smear had shown up CIN3 pre cancerous cells. They needed to remove them but as I hadn't brought anyone with me, I was asked to return the following day for emergency surgery, but first they needed a proper look. Up on the table I go, legs in stirrups, the works! I had a 5 year old at the time so was not adverse to stirrups, I had lost ALL dignity the day he was born. "Oh it's not as bad as I thought" he says. So it's not cancer? Doctor has stupid binocular type things on and is looking at my cervix which I can see on the screen next to me.
I then made possibly a silly decision, possibly not depending on how you are. I had the "emergency" surgery there and then under local anaesthetic and watched it on the screen.
I think I had to wait 10 days for the results on if I had cancer or not. Not one part of my cervix was healthy, when it was cut out it looked black and just awful. I went in work the next day, crying. Totally messed up by the news and my hormones were all over the place from being "messed" with. I kept being sent home. I was on auto pilot. I was a single mum at the time to a 6 year old who knew there was something wrong. I'd take him to school and go to work and get sent home. Then I got an infection and felt rotten. Friends had to pick my son up from school, my ex husband at the time was doing nightly pick ups instead of twice a week. I wanted to curl up and die.
Then the call came...it wasn't cancer, would've been cancer if I'd waited another 6-12 months for my smear. It was caught just before it changed. Thank God. But I'd spent all that time wondering if I had cancer and wondering why they couldn't tell me earlier. Come back in another 3 months for your next colposcopy... Okey Dokey Then...
